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The Reproductive Act 

Alternate title: ‘Fuck’s sake, Alabama’

Okay this Alabama news has forced my hand


I’ve wanted to write

For quite some time

About the reproductive act

Not the legislation

But the fornication


I’ll turn 49 this year

And to this day

I remain shocked that the reproductive act

Is associated with sexual intercourse in any way


It’s really all wrong

How will we ever address human over-population?


For years I have been thinking

Of what the reproductive act should look like

To slow our collective roll


Here are a few examples

To prevent human over population

Men should be required to do the following

Before their bodies became capable of reproduction:


Walk 10 miles on your bare knees first

Atop a bed of half-inch gravel

With a 30minute interview at every mile

To be asked if we really wish to continue 

Down this path


You get the idea I’m going for here?

The reproductive act ought to be a bit more challenging

Just a tad

Like rubbing elbows with your lover for 24 hours 

Until they start bleeding

Then swimming in a salt-water sea

Ten miles out to a craggy seagull shit-covered outcrop

Where you had to stand naked for a week

Before being able to allow your body the chance

To take part in the reproductive act


Instead, what are we dealing with?

One of the body’s most pleasurable moments


Capitalism requires overpopulation to feed its greedy maw


Prevent all marketing and advertising that promotes the act

We don’t need any more encouragement 

Than we already feel

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