Middle School Make-out Party
(for my Chemical Brother)
The last time
We were together
Was at a Middle School
Make-out party
No one was drinking
Not many were high
Somebody’s parents were out that night
(not yours, not mine)
The light in the large living room
Was very low
But our bodies were even lower
Clasping and ‘twined ‘round each other
Spread across the floor,
Some of it carpeted,
Some of it not,
Some on the couch,
Some on the armchairs,
Over,
Under each other,
Open-mouthed French-kissing
At its finest,
Pausing to smile, whisper, giggle,
Come up for air
No one was drinking
Not many were high
Unpaired singles on the edges
In rooms nearby
Bottle-necking in the doorways
Sharing furtive glances
Who would be the next to join?
Some of the couples were already dating
Others began kissing that night
For the first time
Those on the sidelines
Friends of friends, all peers
Got down on the ground
And started to snuggle
To spoon, to whisper, to kiss
Everyone’s doing it,
Hop in, the water’s fine!
I swear you may have been
Paired up
With a crush of mine
Yes, you were
And you were already on the floor
And I was so jealous of your stage presence
Your seeming comfort with girls
Natural as could be
Me only a recent kisser of note
You at this already since we first met
A few years before
Before I had to move across town
When our friendship was just beginning
To take off
You had been confiding in me
Youthful conquests, not boastful at all
Minor rights-of-passage with girls our own age
Just some harmless innocent stuff
You were a boy of action
I was frozen in fear
A boy of inaction
But listening to you closely
Watching intently
As I watched the girls in our class
Literally swoon at the sound of your name
I wanted your name
Would that be awkward?
When the girls said your name
It was breathless, heavy, sighing
Three years later at the make-out party
Had I not yet really
Kissed a girl before that night?
Or was it that my girlfriend and I
Were lip-locked but clearly on the outs?
I wanted to be with your girl that night,
She was my neighbor,
And if I couldn’t be with her
At least you were with her
And at least I could watch her
Just a few feet away
Though it wasn’t me
She kissed
Well this is the big time I thought
No one was drinking
Not many were high
No, that was not the first night
That I started kissing
My memory is so strong
Because on that night
I proudly, rightfully belonged
And though I was jealous
Of who you were with
I had finally found my groove
It had taken all those three years
For me to finally attempt
The elusive French kiss
That I had been pining for
My girl and I took our place
Maybe I nodded hello
As we stepped over you
To find room for our forms
Not too far away
I think that was the last time
We were together
At a Middle School make-out party
No one was drinking
Not many were high
Now connected all these years later
On facebook
Exchanging a few messages
Plumbing our depths
Admitting it hasn’t been easy at all
Nothing will be as easy as it was
To be kissing girls
At a Middle School make-out party
Hate you?
No, no, no
Far from that
The opposite of hate
I was so proud to finally
Join you on the floor
Of the Middle School make-out party
We were always buds
We were always cool with each other
Our parents’ lives
Didn’t conspire
But did work against us
While we now raise our families
I sometimes return to those days
To that living room
I never did say Thank You
For showing me the way forward
Until now